Revenge of the Coffee Rangers
by RoMythe
Summary: Sequel to Coffee Rangers. Halt decides to take matters in own hands. But not without the help of his ex apprentice, Will, who seems to have the same troubles... What do our coffee deprived Rangers do? Having revenge, of course!


Well my dear readers, this is the sequel to my classic; Coffee Ranger.  
You can read this without reading that, but I would appreciate it if you did check out that story.  
It makes this even more funny.

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything *sighes* At least I'm allowed to toy around with our favorite Rangers…**

**Revenge of the Coffee Ranger(s)  
**  
Will was practising his knife throwing when he heard the familiar trot of a small horse behind him.

"Hello Halt"

He heard his old mentor snort, and Will turned around. Halt jumped lightly from Abelard and walked to his old apprentice and clapped him on the shoulder.

"Will. Finally solved the trouble with the bandits?

Will nodded and smiled. While Halt said it sarcastically, the dark eyes said; I'm glad your back and whole again" .

" I'm glad to see you too again, Halt. Now, you can't be here just to see me."

Halt snorted again.

"And why can't I be here without a reason?

"Because you always have a reason. I know you Halt."

"Fine. Where's Alyss?"

Thrown off by the abrupt question, Will pulled up one eyebrow, a habit left from the years with Halt,

"Alyss?"

"Yes. Your wife."

"Err, she said she was going to see yours, you know, Pauline."

"I know who my wife is, thank you very much. But I already thought so "said Halt while stroking his beard. "Pauline said she would see Alyss here"

Will's eyes widened in surprise.

"Wait- they're both lying? Why? Alyss would never do such a thing- nor would Pauline. Right?"

Halt spoke in a grave voice when he answered Will's question".

"Obviously they would if the subject of lying is _coffee_."

Will's eyebrows shoot up even higher.

"What? Coffee? What's wrong with that?"

"Somehow, Our wives seem to think that 7 cups of coffee a day is not healthy. Pauline switched my coffee to decaf." He said mildly, though he frowned, as if he couldn't grasp why his wife would do such a thing.

"No way- she wouldn't do such a thing!" Will proclaimed miraculously.

Halt grumbled under his breath at the reply.

"I believe I just said otherwise. But the point is Will, our wives are now conspiring against us- their own husbands. We can't let that happen."

Will looked dumbfounded, and said once again; "What?" When Halt rolled his eyes, he added quickly "My wife is in this nonsense too?"

Halt 'lightly' smacked him on his head. "You're not having the brightest of days, haven't you?"

Will rubbed his sore spot while simultaneously yawning. The sight was rather comical, and Halt's lips quirked slightly.

"Well, to be honest, I..." His eyes went large. "My coffee! It tasted strange this morning, so I added extra honey! Halt- do you think Alyss...?" he trailed off. Halt cursed in Hibernian, so the words were lost to Will. But he wasn't sure if he even wanted to know what is old mentor said. After a particular long swear, he decided he didn't want to.

"So Alyss has already started. And now Pauline and Alyss are together in town." Will said.

"Not good" Halt murmured.

"We can't let this happen Halt. Coffee is just..."

"Essential to us Rangers. I know Will... But the question is; what shall we do?" Halt finished. He was already thinking of something what his wife couldn't miss. The problem was, he didn't know of anything.

But Will did.

A wide grin spread on his face after a while.

"Halt?"

Halt frowned but didn't say the thing he normally would. This matter was to important.

Will's grin widened.

"I think I know of something...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alyss came back from town with a bag full of decaf. She smiled inwardly. This would teach her coffee Ranger. Will was already just as bad as Halt, she thought. Both she and Pauline had to do something; the health of their husbands was in danger.  
When she got back to their little home, she saw Will reading his reports on the veranda.

He smiled when he saw her.

"Ah, you're back. What's in the bag?"he joked.

Alyss put on her fake smile

Some groceries and goods. The usual" then she went over to him, gave him a kiss and went inside.  
Ha, I got him fooled.  
However, she didn't see the smirk on Will's face when he beckoned Halt.

Back in the cabin, she hid the bag in a secret place in her bedroom. Her closet. Will would never look in there.  
Then she went over to the kitchen to take a cup of her favourite tea and a sugar cube. But when she looked for them in the cupboard, she couldn't find any.  
She frowned. How odd. Yesterday there was a whole pot full of her sugar cubes. She turned the empty pot over. A few sugar grains fell out on her hand.  
She sighed. Not many people knew of her secret. She absolutely graved sugar. And tea. Together. It was something she got from Pauline back when she was a student.  
Oh well. Maybe Will gave them to them to Tug.

Or maybe Will threw them away, her mind said.

Maybe he wasn't as easily fooled as she'd thought.

Her suspicions were confirmed when her husband came in.

"Searching for your sugar cubes are you, sweetheart?" he said, while laying emphasis on sweetheart.

Alyss could slap herself. Now they were both hiding each other's addictions. But she wasn't about to let Will win.

"Where did you hid them Will?"

"I threw them away just like you did with my coffee" he said smugly

He wasn't going to let her win, either.

" That's not fair- coffee like you drink it isn't healthy."

"Fair, fair, what is fair? It's not like the sugar you eat is good for you. And don't blame me." he said when he saw the glare on Alyss' face. "You started it"

"I beg your pardon. I care for you and your health."

"So do I" Will retorted.

"No you don't. You just did it to take revenge on me!" she said, her voice getting louder.  
Will decided to pull some support in.

"Well actually, it wasn't my idea to take revenge..." he said subtly.

Alyss crossed her arms, while looking at her husband suspiciously.

"Then who did?"

Will jerked his thumb to the door.

"He did." He said simply.

Alyss looked confused for a moment.

"Who did... **Halt**! **You're conspiring against us**!"

"So do you" Will said, but his answer was lost to Alyss, who stormed out of the room to get the man who set her husband up against her.

Will grinned when he heard his wife yell in a very un-like Alyss way.

"**Halt! I know you're here! So you are the one who started this! Get your sorry but over here and-** " she couldn't finish her sentence because Halt sneaked up from behind.  
Momentarily startled, she just glared.

Halt glared back. Over her shoulder. To Will, who was standing on the veranda. Will shrugged and came down with a calm look on his face.

"Alyss, I love you, but you can't do this to me. Nor can Pauline do this to Halt. It won't work. We'll be groggy, chagrined, bad tempered.. You really don't want that."

Alyss snorted. " Like he isn't already."

Halt's eyes narrowed.

"You started this with Pauline, Alyss. Give us back our coffee and we might give you back your sugar cubes."

Alyss opened her mouth to retort, but Will held up his hands.

"Stop this, both of you. Alyss, you're supposed to be the negotiator, not me. Give me back my coffee, and I'll give you back your sugar cubes. I promise." he added when he saw her distrustful face.

For a while, no one said something. The silence was almost eary

Finally, Alyss' face softened. She sighed, and her arms went a bit lower.

"Fine. But Halt, I'm not going to solve your problem with Pauline." she said, when she saw the triumphant look on his face. "You know, Pauline has had this...addiction for quite a long while, far longer than I ever had. I doubt she'll react the same way as I do when she figures out you are the one who hid her sugar stash."

Halt's face transformed into a worried look.

It didn't help when his ex apprentice took Alyss' hand and said;

"Yes Halt, I believe you have some business to attend back home... I'm quite finished here, so I'm going finish those reports Crowley gave to me."

Alyss smirked at her husband.

"Alright. Let's get coffee and sugar, Coffee Ranger"

Then, he and Alyss went inside. Will threw one last apologizing look over his shoulder, at his dumbfounded mentor.

_Good luck Halt. You'll need it,_ his face said.

Halt slowly opened the door of Pauline and his room. Noiseless, he crept in. If he could only reach their bedroom and pretend to be asleep, then-

"Halt. You and I need to talk. **Now**." Pauline said while standing in the doorway of their bedroom with her hands on her hips. Her piercing blue eyes where fastened upon his. They made him want to squirm way.

He closed his eyes. His plan was doomed. Now he had to face the wrath of a sugar deprived woman.

This was going to be a long evening.

And this time, he had no coffee to help him.

So much for being a coffee Ranger.


End file.
